Classic Joke from the Brazilian

AL was uber excited to tell me a joke the other day. He couldn't wait to tell the class & thought it was so so funny. I was more excited to hear it because there's usually some sort of language barrier that confuses the person telling the joke or myself right at the punch line. :) Enjoy this one...

There was an egg & a sausage being fried in a pan. All of the sudden, the sausage says, "Oh my, it's so hot in here!!!" and the egg jumps up & screams, "OH MY GOD, a talking sausage!!!" ;)

Yep, that's it. That's the whole joke. Awesome.

Confessions Create Tears of Joy

One of my students confessed that he rides in a "car seat" in his dad's car because he "can't see."

I tried not to for at least 15 seconds, but eventually, I began silently laughing...a lot. I couldn't help it. A 12 year old boy was telling me he rode in a car seat so he could see while riding in the car.

When I asked him to clarify, he reassured me it wasn't "the one with the high back on it, but the one that's more just like a seat." A booster seat. Still, so awesome.

I continued to laugh as he explained things further & I my eyes were welling up with tears. Another student looked at me & shouted, "You made Ms. S cry!!!"

FN replied, "So?! Those are TEARS OF JOY!"

Yes, yes they were.

I Don't Know What to Think...

One student, S1, walked into my room yesterday morning for advisory & was ecstatic to show me his new cell phone. He told me how much it cost & that he got it with "his" tax refund money.

I honestly don't have the energy to tell you how I feel about "Generation Me," their sense of entitlement, & the fact that the majority of my students know about April 14th because their parents give the 12 year-old children "their" portion of the tax refund because the parents claimed the children as dependents, therefore the children "deserve" that money. I can't talk about it because it makes me so mad that I start to curse.

Please note that the student I've mentioned above is the same student who refers to the topic about "food stamps" below.

I will not comment on the discourse below, I will simply outline the conversation I witnessed this morning in my advisory between three African American students, one of which was S1. Please know that I only highlight the race of the students (S1, S2, S3) so you can better understand my shock.

S1 (male): Mmm, we got candy at home in our cabinets right now. We got it with our food stamps. Yeah. Ooh, food stamps are good for that.
S2 (female): What are food stamps?
S3 (female): (burst out laughing) What? Are you serious? (Looks at S1 & rolls her eyes) She aint BLACK!

What do you say to that? In case anyone was wondering how I handled that... I looked at S2 & said, "Excuse me. How sad that you are putting yourself & every other black person in a box. Yes, she's black, but just so you know, not every black person is on Welfare. How sad that you think that. On top of that, there are Whites, Asians, & Latinos are on Welfare too, so there's no reason to discriminate. I am actually proud of her for asking what food stamps were since she didn't know because it shows she cares about learning, which leaves less room for ASSUMING things."

Smacking Intolerance

I don't have a high tolerance for smacking. Not the kind of smacking that happens when people are eating (which I don't have a tolerance for either - close your mouth), but the "smack" that students do when they don't agree with something.

It's begins as a lip pucker, then a quick release of the pucker to an open mouth, creating a "smack" sound. It's not only rude, it's annoying that it has quickly become the default reaction of most students...in any situation.

The smack is commonly used instead of verbalizing phrases such as, "Pardon me, madame?" "That's not exactly true," & "I'm frustrated, please help me." ;)

Today, FN realized he had a subconscious problem of not being able to communicate without smacking. I pointed it out, which helped. I was so frustrated that he continuously smacked that I told him for each smack, he owed me $0.25.

I began a tally chart of how many times he smacked in the last 10 minutes of class. (Note: he put his hand over his mouth for 4 of those minutes, if THAT tells you anything.)

FN now owes me $8.25 (easiest $8.25 ever made in 10 minutes). I told him he had to pay & I'd put that money towards our class's Invisible Children Bracelet Campaign fund. He was ok with it, knowing it was going to a good cause, however, at the end of class he claimed, "Now, you're rich & I'm broke!"

My response: "This wouldn't happen if you'd practice using your words." Life is hard.

Two for Two

Today was a successful day in terms of student quotes. There are two stories in particular that made me laugh & I'd like to share them.

Thank you, Martin Luther King (aka, MLK)
YG is my mentee. We were chatting for awhile in my room today & I asked her what her plans were for this weekend. I reminded her, "It's a long weekend. There's no school on Monday, thanks to MLK." She replied, "Oh, I don't know what I'm gonna do, BUT when I told my mom we didn't have school on Monday, she didn't believe me. She asked me why & I told her it was Milk Day."

I died laughing. Don't worry, I used it as a teachable moment (after I laughed) & she now realizes that MLK are the initials of the extremely influential black man in history who she has seen, heard, & learned about SEVERAL times before. She gets how it all relates now. :)

Superheroes in Labor
In 6th grade ELA today, we were discussing a Green Lantern poster in the room (seen left). We pointed out that the animators use colors to represent certain emotions or qualities found in each character. Near the end of the explanation, one student raised his hand & asked, "Does it still hurt superheroes if they have babies? Or do they not feel the pain?" I had to clarify to my co-teacher that the student was referring to childbirth. My co-teacher had the wisdom to say, "That's a good question..." Was it? Was it even on topic? No. But nonetheless, good question.